Please note: I have not seen much past season 9.
15. The Main Drain
Another piece of shit from Legends of Bikini Bottom. SpongeBob needs to remove a drain plug in the sink, but Mr. Krabs comes in, knocks the chain out of SpongeBob’s hands, then tells them about a doomsday device known as “the main drain” which killed evereyone. Later it’s revealed that Mr. Krabs and Plankton pulled it.
Why is this a PatPrick episode? He actually pulls the plug disregarding the warnings (although at the end it’s supposedly by mistake but he already knew damn well what he was doing). Oh and the episode was a bedtime story.
As MoBros puts it: “Way to excuse your own lazy writing you cheap bastards!”
Rating: 3.5/10 – Bad
14. Patrick! The Game
Great concept, but bad execution. Unlike episodes that came out in seasons 4-9A, there weren’t as many Squidward Torture Porns. This was one of the few that I can think of. Squidward taunts Patrick over making a game early on, but during the game, Patrick literally changes rules over and over to hurt Squidward while at the same time cheating.
Also Sandy forced Squidward into playing the game, so it’s not like Squidward was fully in the wrong. It’s a PatPrick episode first, Squidward Torture Porn second. Squidward should’ve been much more harsh to warrant Patrick’s behavior.
Rating: 3.5/10 – Bad
13. Driven to Tears
SpongeBob fails his driving test. Again. Under the assumption that the test is rigged, Patrick goes to teach Mrs. Puff a lesson. Instead of accusing her of rigging the test, Patrick passes it with flying colors then pretty much taunts and insults SpongeBob throughout the episode.
And no, SpongeBob should not have gone to jail in this one. Maybe a fine for littering, but Patrick’s reckless driving and hateful behavior warrant him being in jail. Fuck the ending.
Rating: 3/10 – Bad
12. Patrick’s Staycation
Patrick needs a “vacation” from eating and sleeping all day, but can’t afford a vacation so SpongeBob goes with a staycation (which actually ain’t a bad idea).
Remember Krusty Towers? Compare Squidward being rightfully pissed and torturing Mr. Krabs for his behavior. Take out the “rightfully pissed” part and you have this episode. Patrick acts like a dick to SpongeBob and then later Squidward by being ungrateful.
Rating: 2.5/10 – Terrible
11. Once Bitten
I’m surprised this one wasn’t brought up by Mr. Enter or any other reviewer (although I haven’t seen many other people reviewing SpongeBob in a while) but god damn is this one terrible.
Patrick spreads propaganda about Gary having Mad Snail Disease and the town tries to murder Gary. Also Patrick doesn’t get punished for spreading false information and incitement of violence.
I’m With Stupid is a good episode. Yes Patrick was kind of rude but it was mostly trying to have SpongeBob play along. Once Bitten is the very first PatPrick episode just like how Good Neighbors was the first Squidward Torture Porn.
Rating: 2.5/10 – Terrible
10. InSPONGEiac
SpongeBob is struggling to sleep, so he goes to Patrick for tips, but Patrick does the opposite.
At one point Patrick gives SpongeBob an “elixir” known as coffee, which makes the insomnia even worse. The other interactions alone were enough to convince me that this was a PatPrick episode, although a chunk of it doesn’t involve the demonic sea star.
Rating: 2.5/10 – Terrible
9. The Googly Artiste
One thing that makes season 4-9a unbearable is how braindead Bikini Bottom has become. Apparently putting googly eyes on rocks and Krabby Patties are considered examples of raw creativity. I’m dead serious.
Well anyway Patrick becomes PatPrick by being a dick to Squidward and then later forcing him to make the uncreative slop while Patrick makes fat stacks off of them. Were everyone except Squidward in Bikini Bottom suffering from a near fatal stroke in this episode?
Rating: 2/10 – Terrible
8. Karate Star
Patrick learns karate after forcing SpongeBob to cave, and then begins guillotining shit everywhere for shits and giggles.
At the end, Patrick removes his “destructive hand” which turns into another Patrick.
Rating: 2/10 – Terrible
7. Rule of Dumb
Although Patrick does lose the crown in the end of the episode, it does not compromise the fact that Patrick is so god damn hateful in this one.
Patrick is crowned, and then spends the episode stealing everyone’s shit and ripping away Squidward’s house.
Contrary to Mr. Enter, this episode does not get a pass. Patrick was deliberately hateful for being cruel for fun.
Rating: 2/10 – Terrible
6. The Splinter
While Patrick doesn’t have much a role in this episode, he intentionally jams the splinter in further and infects it. That alone makes it a PatPrick episode. Even before that, he’s being a pile of shit to SpongeBob after SpongeBob points out that Patrick wasn’t focusing on the splinter.
Rating: 1.5/10 – Rancid
5. Oral Report
This is arguably one of the worst episodes. SpongeBob has to give a speech for boating school but is suffering from “severe oral-reportitis” (again, real clever?) and needs Patrick to try to get him trained for the speech. Patrick though calls SpongeBob’s speech boring then throws pillows and commit other rude shit while demanding the speech.
Then the next day after Sandy gives SpongeBob some goggles, Patrick threatens SpongeBob and then by “accident” breaks the goggles. Then SpongeBob gives his speech to the police after breaking several traffic laws.
So not only is the episode badly written, but Patrick’s conduct in this episode is nasty.
Rating: 1.5/10 – Rancid
4. Pet Sitter Pat
This one is just as bad as A Pal for Gary and is tied with The Splinter and Oral Report. Patrick volunteers to protect Gary, although the whole time he eats snail food, considers using salt (which kills snails) and a flamethrower to “dry” Gary up, etc.
The ending (which makes no sense) has Gary and Patrick seemly a-ok. What a painful episode.
Rating: 1.5/10 – Rancid
3. The Card
I’ll keep this short: “SpongeBob, you can’t always expect my usual brand of stupidity!”
Although SpongeBob doesn’t exactly have any continuity, that line flat out states that Patrick is deliberately doing stupid shit to harm people.
Rating: 1.5/10 – Rancid
2. Stuck in the Wringer
This is tied with The Card. SpongeBob gets stuck in the wringer and even moreso after Patrick glues him in. Because of this, SpongeBob is unable to work at the Krusty Krab. Patrick takes him to the carnival and then makes SpongeBob feel even worses.
The glue dissolves from them crying, where SpongeBob declares that “crying does solve your problems after all” to the audience. That message is wrong and pathetic.
Rating: 1.5/10 – Rancid
1. Yours, Mine and Mine
The top 6 worst on this list are all by very razor thin margins. So why this over The Card and Stuck in the Wringer?
This is where Patrick is so toxic it’s not even funny. Let’s start off with how Patrick swipes SpongeBob’s wallet to pay for the meal and the toy. The rest of the episode is Patrick confiscating the toy and hogging it, until at the very end when Patrick eats it. Then Patrick makes SpongeBob pay up for the toys stating “Have you learned nothing about sharing? at the end.
Patrick’s behavior and cruelty in this episode nets this as the worst PatPrick episode.
Rating: 1/10 – Rancid
