Blogged By Eric

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Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Star Wars: The Last Straw for most viewers.

Brief Backstory

A while after the prequels were connected to the original trilogy, Disney in a blatant case of hoarding bought out Lucasfilm. A few years later, The Force Awakens (Episode VII) and Rogue One were released with the latter often considered the best Star Wars movie since Return of the Jedi. While The Force Awakens was considered a good follow-up, The Last Jedi, the next in line of the episodic movies, was considered to be one of the worst Star Wars movies since The Phantom Menace – not even counting Rise of Skywalker which came out a few years later!

This is not the Skywalker you were looking for.

Story

Rey

After the destruction of the Starkiller Base, the Resistance’s soldiers are kicked out of their base by the First Order. Luke Skywalker is founded by Rey, who have given up on the Jedi Order for their costly misshapes one too many times.

Random Facts

George Lucas (I don’t know if his views have changed like mine have) praised this as a good follow up to the Force Awakens, which unfortunately has not held up that well over nearly a decade.

Often considered the second worst Star Wars movie (used to be the first until Rise of Skywalker managed to topple that)

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan fighting Darth Maul.

Random Opinions

“The greatest teacher, failure is” – Were the Joplin and El Reno tornadoes in 2011 and 2013 considered to be considered to have been taught by failure? Last time I checked most of the “failure” from the Joplin tornado was from people ignoring tornado warnings – don’t ever do that. The NWS gave a near 20 minute lead time; plenty of time to take cover. As for the El Reno tornado, people in the OKC area kept thinking they could drive away from the tornado, which is suicidal. Both tornadoes were from tornado warned cells prior to development and that gave people more than enough time to take shelter. Prior the areas were under moderate/high risks. Both instances were not failures; purely negligence from others.
(https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna44596753)

What was the point of the Porgs? To sell shit? At least the Ewoks served a huge purpose in Return of the Jedi.

Canto Bight

Pros

  1. Puppet Yoda here isn’t shit like he was in Phantom Menace.
Crop dusting?

Cons

  1. If you thought the prequel trilogy was disgraceful (least it attempted and Revenge of the Sith made up for the past two prequels) then holy shit is this one even worse.
  2. A lot of filler. Roughly about 45 minutes – potentially even 75 minutes could have been removed from this and nothing would change. You wouldn’t want to eat a crab cake that had filler in it (or too much filler) so obviously this says the same for the Last Jedi.
  3. Textbook example of flanderization. Luke Skywalker, the one who brought Anakin back from the Sith, destroyed the first Death Star, and countless other legendary deeds, is reduced to a grumpy old man. There are other serious derailment traits that Luke goes through in this movie, but I’ll keep it at that.
  4. Rey is somehow a million times more powerful than Luke. No training, nothing.
  5. Even more disgraceful than The Phantom Menace. I don’t even want to know what Rise of Skywalker was like.
  6. Luke dies in this. For no reason (him using the force to make a phantom of himself to disrupt Kylo Ren counts as “no reason).
  7. Rather than delaying Snoke’s demise for the 9th movie, Last Jedi kills him.
Knowledge is power.

Rating: 3/10 – Bad

Not only is The Last Jedi a total letdown, but it fucked up any potential that the sequel trilogy could bounce back from. I heard about the horrible reputation that Rise of Skywalker got and decided to keep my distance. Is it really that bad?

Nevertheless I almost wonder if Rian Johnson got Polly Sparks to write this shit!! Where’s the recall button when you need it?

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