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Star Wars: Attack of the Clones

Star Wars: Attack of the Clones (2002)

Begun, the Clone Wars have.

Brief Backstory

The prequels got off to a horrible start in 1999, and George Lucas was not swayed by the complaints. Much like in the 1970s and 1980s, George Lucas decided to give a 3 year gap in between episodes, and audiences were willing to watch another Star Wars movie, hoping for the best. The reception toward the next chapter, Attack of the Clones, was better, but not by much. It was still hampered by bad storytelling and Anakin’s god awful acting.

The beginning of Anakin’s downfall.

Story

Jango Fett

Padme is targeted by an assassin, forcing Obi-Wan to track down whoever’s hiring for regicide and Anakin to keep Padme safe. During Anakin’s task of protecting Padme, he is forced into going to Geonosis where Obi-Wan has been sentenced to death after witnessing the creation of a clone army in Kamino and following Jango Fett to Geonosis.

Random Facts

People tend to argue about which is worse: Phantom Menace or Attack of the Clones?

Attack of the Clones was the first movie done exclusively with digital cameras.

You can hear Qui-Gon screaming “Anakin no!” as Yoda meditates.

Some of the same sets used in A New Hope were used for Tatooine.

From this point on (barring Last Jedi), Yoda is CGI, mostly because how he was into fighting Count Dooku. Trying to have Yoda do all those crazy moves and flips would’ve been impossible with how he was prior.

The creatures used for the death penalty scene were possibly based on classic monsters from the 1950s and 1960s.

Throughout the movie, some more ties and hints leading up to A New Hope are seen, such as the Death Star plans that Count Dooku takes back to Coruscant.

Of the prequels, Attack of the Clones has the longest run time of 142 minutes. However in terms of all nine Star Wars movies (the sequel trilogy to me is non-canon) The Last Jedi beats the record with 153 minutes.

Palpatine receiving the emergency powers that Jar Jar Binks encouraged the senate to give is somewhat how an evil group known as the Nazis and their dictator, Adolf Hitler, got to power starting in 1932. The similarities to the Nazis and the Empire were all over in the original trilogy, so it’s likely that Lucas was going for a retelling of events leading up to World War 2.

The Geonosis Arena looks like the Roman Colosseum. This keeps in line with the slightly medieval overtone that was present in the original trilogy.

As Anakin leaves to find his mother, his shadow resembles Vader.

Yoda vs. Dooku

Random Opinions

Come on man, more C-SPAN shit? Who the fuck cares about delaying some vote? Only the emergency powers scene was necessary.

Comparing quality to Disney animated features puts Attack of the Clones around Peter Pan and the Sword in the Stone.

I liked how the battle droids sounded in the Phantom Menace better. They were still funny, but at the same time threatening, which is how the stormtroopers were in the original trilogy.

One reviewer said that the Jedi should’ve been involved in the Naboo blockade (not counting Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon) since they actually did something here!!

I was more on board with how Dooku was more like a warlock (much like Palpatine) when he fought Yoda, Anakin, and Obi-Wan.

I disagree Lucas’s claim of how Jar Jar started everything. Jar Jar Binks petitioned the senate, so instead the senators are to blame, not him. Besides, there were other senators demanding it too. Also fuck Jar Jar Binks with rusty tetanus covered nails; and don’t give him any tetanus shots please.

Dooku is somewhat odd. He warns Obi-Wan that he and the Jedi are Darth Sidious’s followers yet has no problem with what he’s done like slashing off Anakin’s arm and petitioning to have Obi-Wan executed. Vader said something like that in Empire Strikes Back but there his intentions were for him to get Luke to kill the Emperor and then they both rule as Sith lords.

One of the main reasons I liked Attack of the Clones way more than Phantom Menace were the Kamino scenes. The planet core scene from Phantom Menace just didn’t work much for me.

A reek, created by infusing the DNA of Bebop and Rocksteady and giving it cocaine.

Pros

  1. Jar Jar Binks has a tiny role compared to his excessive obnoxiousness in the Phantom Menace.
  2. Attack of the Clones is rightfully much scarier than Phantom Menace with Anakin murdering Tusken Raiders and the assassination attempts on Padme.
  3. C3P0 as a battle droid is funny.
  4. The clone troopers serve as a great predecessor to the stormtroopers later in the saga.
  5. The fight scenes are way better than Phantom Menace’s – and we even get to see Yoda kicking the shit out of Dooku! Granted he doesn’t kill Dooku but it’s still epic.
  6. For as much shit as Anakin gets by the reviewers, his early signs of his quest of being Darth Vader are seen here in a good way.
  7. One thing that Attack of the Clones does way better than Phantom Menace is that it actually shows hints of leading to A New Hope whereas Phantom Menace doesn’t do any of that except for Palpatine becoming the supreme chancellor.
Nute Gunray
Dexter Jettster

Cons

  1. Horrible dialogue in so many areas. Did George Lucas write the script while on drugs?
  2. Nobody gave a shit about the love scenes between Anakin and Padme. They did nothing but bore the audience.
  3. Again the CGI is very dated. I’m sorry but Monsters Inc. looked so much better – if they had to resort to CGI then they should’ve gone with Pixar on this. The three creatures used in the execution scene would’ve been better if they were stop-motion or something.
  4. Anti climatic death of Jango Fett. Give him a little more screen time, will ya?!
  5. Anakin’s acting is horrible. I get that he was supposed to be reckless and aggressive, which he was, but that didn’t include him saying shit like “I don’t like sand” or “he’s holding me back” throughout the movie.
    • Also I have no idea why Anakin needs to be bad mouthing Obi-Wan.
  6. This movie is too long. It doesn’t seem like a problem at first, but Attack of the Clones has way too much filler for the likes of me.
The notorious sand scene.

Rating: 7.5/10 – Good

An improvement over the Phantom Menace, but that’s not saying much.

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