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Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas

Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas (1997)

The first “true” cheapquel. Does it match the quality of Aladdin and the King of Thieves or even Return of Jafar or is it a shameless disgraceful cash grab like the rest?

Brief Backstory

Shortly after the success of Return of Jafar and Aladdin and the King of Thieves, Disney would start bringing out the big guns and harvest the hell out of almost of their animated properties with unnecessary sequels and prequels.

Story

It’s Christmastime, and everyone’s celebrating – except for the Beast’s castle, yet Belle is willing to change that. The Beast, out of fear, isn’t due to his troubled past that haunts him every Christmas.

Random Facts

Because the Beast is near the age of 21, the enchantress shouldn’t have been allowed to curse him since he was 11 at the time.

Released on Veteran’s Day in 1997. Kind of odd they didn’t wait until after November.

Paul Reubens (Pee-Wee) voices Fife.

BOO!! SCARY ORGAN!!

Random Opinions

None of these sequels should be considered canon, but of course Disney wanted them to be so. Or at least from what I’ve heard.

Disney already had released Hercules earlier in 1997 and it was a smashing hit – exactly what was the point of making this?

I can’t believe people were scared of Forte; that giant fish in Tiny Huge Island in Super Mario 64 was much scarier.

Damn. What a dick.

Pros

  1. Animation’s okay. Not as good as the original, but sacrifices have to be made.
  2. We actually get to see the beast’s past of him getting cursed, though since he was 11 at the time it probably wasn’t fair. It’s a fantasy movie anyway, and these kinds of movies are bound to their rules.
  3. The beast having PTSD about Christmas somewhat makes sense given his past.
  4. If Most Offensive Video was still making holiday parodies, this would be a good one.
“Christmas is as bad as September 11th, 2001!! So don’t fucking celebrate!!”

Cons

  1. Forte looks awful, and it’s no help that he’s CGI. Everything in Jumping Flash! looked better than him, and that was in 1995.
  2. Bad songs, another hallmark of Disney cheapquels.
  3. The talking axe is an obnoxious Jewish stereotype. Did Eric Cartman write this?
  4. Not sure why the beast went back to being arrogant; it nearly costed him his last chance to become a human after he got terrified seeing Belle almost destroy the rose when she stormed the west wing in the original.
  5. On that topic, he really doesn’t seem to want to become human again by locking Belle away.
  6. Horrible humor, such as “don’t “whine” glasses” and the fact the wine glasses are WHINING obnoxiously. I’ve seen better humor in Season 18 Family Guy.
  7. Angelique is annoying. Cut the shit accent you’re not being funny.

Rating: 3.5/10 – Bad

Excluding the Aladdin direct to video movies, this one’s probably the best of the bunch which isn’t saying much. Next holiday season, skip this.

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