Blogged By Eric

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Return to Neverland

Return to Neverland (2002)

Oh look, another cheapquel, and like 98% of them ’twas disliked by the majority.

Brief Backstory

“Sorry we were too busy playing Game and Watch Gallery 1, so here’s an octopus.”


Years after so many of the members who worked on Peter Pan in the 1950s passed away mostly from old age, the dumbasses who were masturbating to money decided to make another sequel, this time involving Peter Pan. Though not as ill received as a large chunk of the cheapquels, it still generated negative reception.

Story

Wanting revenge against Peter Pan (again), Captain Hook and his pirates shanghai Jane, mistaking her for Wendy. Because London ordered children to be sent away for safety during the war, Jane needs to get back but only if she can learn to fly.

Jane getting secondary screening by Tinkerbell
The effects of war on children.

Random Facts

Wendy

Clive Revill, the original voice of Darth Sidious in Empire Strikes Back (this got changed in the early 2000s) voices the soldier telling Wendy about her children being taken to the countryside.

The natives don’t appear in this, presumably due to racism concerns. Their encampment still appears.

Surprisingly, several reviewers (I believe PhantomStrider is one of them) have stated they prefer this over the original.

According to the end credits, Walt Disney got the rights to Peter Pan in 1929, roughly 25 years before the original came out in 1953.

Random Opinions

The octopus itself isn’t even that threatening looking. The ones from Banjo-Tooie’s Jolly Roger Lagoon were much more menacing.

Hate to bring September 11th up, but since Return to Neverland came out nearly six months after the world witnessed that attack, why, and I mean why would you have a family movie involving an air raid and bombs?! Rick and Morty had a scene where they attack like in Pearl Harbor in 1941 but that’s an adult cartoon and that episode aired nearly 80 years after Pearl Harbor, yet they were willing to back off on doing something that resembled September 11th. Maybe I’m overreacting to this, but I would’ve had trouble going to school after seeing this.

I don’t understand why the late Roy E. Disney didn’t intervene with these movies; perhaps he didn’t have a say in any of it, but come on man he was a descendent of Walt and Roy Disney. Fantasia 2000 was under his supervision, so where was he when this was being made?

I can’t believe Captain Hook would actually THINK Jane looked similar to Wendy. The hairstyle doesn’t match and her outfit is a different color. Did they seriously make Captain Hook braindead?

The first part of the movie is pointless. I’m confused; is it supposed to be Peter Pan or some animated movie trying to be Indiana Jones?

Danny. He hates planes and bombs.

Pros

  1. The animation’s okay.
  2. Peter Pan and Wendy is worse.
Peter Pan and the Lost Boys, the latter of which seemed to have lost a million brain cells.

Cons

  1. The beginning feels less like Peter Pan and more like Medal of Honor or Indiana Jones.
  2. Yeah I’m pretty sure Kathryn Beaumount was still able to voice Wendy in this one. Not sure WHY they didn’t go with that. She voiced Alice in Kingdom Hearts, so what’s the excuse?
  3. They couldn’t bring the crocodile back and instead we got an octopus. Were the crew behind this playing Octopus on Game and Watch Gallery or listening to Octopus Garden from the Beatles?
  4. Look, as a whole, I find this movie insulting to Walt Disney’s legacy, typical of my narrative toward some of these cheapquels that were affiliated with any of the 20ish animated movies he partook in development.
  5. Poorly aged CGI? Why?! They could’ve animated the ship and all that other stuff without CGI!
  6. Exactly why is Jane acting like she’s one of the militia at the beginning? Most she could be in the military at her age would be one of their drummers like Johnny Shiloh or something instead of blowing enemy heads off. Besides she was due to leaving London anyway so there’s that.
  7. Most of the movie is identical to the first. For example, Hook scams Jane just like he did with Tinkerbell originally. Home Alone 2 did this as well but there was still enough to distinguish it from the original and isn’t a shit movie.
No Jane, you can not go to war at your age.

Rating: 3.5/10 – Bad

Skip it. The 2003 and 1953 Peter Pan movies are so much better.

Like most of the cheapquels it’s a movie you’ll only get enjoyment out of while binge drinking cheap beer.

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