Blogged By Eric

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Beauty and the Beast: Belle’s Magical World

Beauty and the Beast: Belle’s Magical World (1998)

Could this have been the worst of the bombardment of direct-to-video hack jobs that slaughtered Disney’s reputation?

Brief Backstory

Belle’s Magical World was some apparent pilot to a cartoon series that never had a chance. That’s about it. Disney knew it was a failure so they decided to put it on home video instead to leech as much profit as possible to waste it on the strip clubs and pornography theaters.

Story

Four tragical tales come to life in the world of Beauty and the Beast.

Random Facts

Often considered the bottom of the barrel for the cheapquels.

Initially, there were only three segments: The Perfect Word, Fifi’s Folly, and The Broken Wing. Mrs. Potts’ Party was added a few years later.

Belle’s misery says it all.

Random Opinions

Really? A whole fucking segment dedicated to apologizing? Even if the Simpsons already wrote an episode on something like that (Bart vs. Thanksgiving and no it wasn’t a good episode) it’s still a god awful plot.

Don’t even get me started on the song numbers. I heard parts of the first segment’s song and thought I was infected with chlamydia or something. The song numbers are that bad.

Were they trying to intentionally be as bad as Ed Wood’s movies? Well they’re doing a bad job of it – Ed Wood’s movies were bad, but not the kind of bad that’s only enjoyable with trying to outdrink yourself.

Seems like you can’t watch almost all of these direct-to-video hackjobs without seeing how many cans of Icehouse you can drink and then gaining 30 pounds and fucking up your lipids and liver.

“Another cheapquel involving us?!! Bring me the U.S. Marines!!”

Pros

  1. If you have this on VHS and need to sacrifice a VHS tape for testing purposes, use this one.
  2. If you have this on DVD and need to find an alternative for clay pigeons when trying out a new gun, use this one.
  3. If you need to replace the case on a Disney VHS tape that’s beaten up, use this one.
“Tubby the Tuba, is THAT really you?!”

Cons

  1. The animation is a complete downgrade from even the Enchanted Christmas and is awful for Beauty and the Beast standards. Yeah I know it’s somewhat similar to classic series like Bonkers, TaleSpin, and DuckTales, but the animation was so much better in those.
  2. Song numbers are so bad that they could give you a terminal illness.
  3. I’d rather watch the live action remake of Beauty and the Beast instead of seeing this!! I’m dead serious!
  4. None of the segments are remotely interesting or “wonderful tales” – they’re all just as “wonderful” as getting kidnapped and tortured. In fact, this whole movie is a torture chamber.
  5. Like many cheapquels, unenjoyable without going to the liquor store and buying an 18 pack of Icehouse and then trying to outdrink yourself.
Quality animation folks. Quality animation.

Rating: 0/10 – Didn’t Try

No enjoyment out of this. None. This is the lowest rating I’ve given to any of these cheapquels, and most likely it will stay that. It’s very sad when one of Disney’s poisonous live action remakes ACTUALLY manages to be better than a cheapquel.

Please, for the love of god don’t waste any amount of time on watching this, even if you’re collecting VHS or DVDs. Don’t. Unlike Ed Wood’s movies which have been shit on for decades, this one is unenjoyable. You’re better off masturbating instead.

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